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The Zoo 2: Tuesday
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The Zoo 2 - Tuesday (Disk 2 of 2).adf
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LOSTNSPC.ZOO
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*!EOM
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3224Y00F05basic32Y00J1Y00S1NLOST IN SPACE
2421Y00F07futurax24Y00S0NFishboy
0819Y00F05xfont08Y00J0N
0801NDoes anybody remember those bloody awful science fiction programs that used
0801Nto be on Channel 4 on a Sunday morning? They were quite the most abysmal
0801Nproducts of diseased and twisted minds ever were they not? All these
0801Nprogrammes had from 1 to 3 different plots which they kept repeating, take
0811Y00C2Y13C1NLost In Space for example:
0801N
0811Y00C2Y09C1NDR SMITH: Hmm... This planets sky would appear to be a poorly painted
0801Ncardboard background would'nt you say Will?
0811Y00C3Y14C1NWILL ROBINSON: Look Dr Smith, a strange box has suddenly materialised out of
0801Nthin air with a remarkably cheesy sound effect.
0811Y00C2Y09C1NDR SMITH: Fascinating, I must exploit it for my own gains. OH NO! MY MEDDLING
0801NHAS SOMEHOW CAUSED AN ALIEN TO APPEAR.
0811Y00C4Y16C1NMAN IN FUR COAT: Roawwwrrr...
0811Y00C5Y16C1NROBBY THE ROBOT: Danger Will Robinson!
0811Y00C3Y14C1NWILL ROBINSON: Oh no! DAD! HELP!
0801N(DAD and OTHER BLOKE WHOOSE NAME NOBODY CAN REMEMBER rush on with laser guns
0801Nand start shooting the Man in a Fur Coat. When it becomes apparent that
0801N20000 mega watt lasers do not hurt the alien they try to punch him to death.)
0811Y00C5Y16C1NROBBY THE ROBOT: Danger Will Robinson!
0811Y00C4Y16C1NMAN IN FUR COAT: Roawwrrrr....
0811Y00C3Y14C1NWILL ROBINSON: Will you be my friend alien?
0811Y00C4Y16C1NMAN IN FUR COAT: Alright,
0811Y00C6Y04C1NALL: Hooray we are saved.
0811Y00C2Y13C1NDAD ROBINSON: Look what your meddling has done Mr Smith.
0806Y00S4N(They all cross their arms and laugh like brain dead people, except the
0801Nrobot whose designers could not foresee an occasion when its arms would need
0801Nto be longer then its immense beer gut).
0806Y00S0N
0801NAnother intresting point about lost in space is it always said
0821Y01C4Y01S4Y35C1Y35S0N"Guest star: Shit Actor as Mr Smith" but Mr Smith was in the program every
0801Nweek played by the same Shit Actor (for any mentally challenged (Thats a
0801Npolite way of saying fucking stupid) people among you by 'Shit actor' I don't
0801Nmean that the blokes name was shit actor I just mean that he was a shit actor
0811Y59C2Y72C1Nand I can't remember his name). By far the best episode of lost in space was
0801Nthe one where the crew found an entire civilization of four inch high Robby
0801NThe Robots 10 meters away from their crashed space ship despite the fact that
0801Nthey had been on the planet for 2 years (they 'had not noticed them').
0801N
0821Y00C2Y13C1Y56C3Y74C1NLost in Space was poor but nothing could prepear me for LAND OF THE GIANTS.
0811Y46C2Y59C1NWhich they screened when they stopped showing Lost In Space (After episode
0811Y43C2Y56C1N2000. It would appear that each episode of lost in space was filmed from
0811Y42C3Y60C1Nstart to finish once without rehearsals). Land of the Giants told the story
0801Nof some people from earth whoose space ship had crash landed on a planet
0806Y67C3Nidentical to 1960's earth except that eveyone was about 50ft high. Land of
0806Y11C1Nthe Giants only had one plot which went like this:
0801N
0801NOne of the little people would be captured by an evil genius. The others
0801Nwould go to save them armed only with a safety pin on the end of a bit of
0801Nstring and an axe made from a match stick and a pencil sharperner blade. The
0801NFBI would then look for the crashed space ship in a 2ft by 2ft bush and
0801NWOULD NEVER FIND IT. At some point in the program someone would be attacked
0801Nby a really big cat or lizard. This was always badly super imposed and
0801Ntransparent. The little person would escape by jumping over a twig (I too am
0801Nconfused about this bit). The end of each episode would consist of the little
0801Npeople phoning the police on a giant telephone and then the one police man
0801Nsaying to another "Maybe these little people aren't as evil as we thought",
0801Nwhile all the little people laughed. It was Crap.
*!EOF